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I have to be smart, sure, but not at the costof losing the feminine power it was so hard for me tofind.I?m a woman, I?m a goddess, and that means thatacting from the girl god space is the only way I canhonor my creator. I can?t get all tough and distantor I lose connection with my most important thing, myown heart and its delights.I fear sometimes I will lose that open expression ofan open heart. I lived so long without it that thememories still haunt me, being shamed into actingagainst my nature, locking myself up in a tiny closetall alone because being exposed meant being shamed.That?s what I fear. And that?s what I work everydayto move beyond. Sometimes I just go up and kisssomeone who looks like they need it as a gift tomyself, as a reminder that I once was someone whoneeded a kiss and now am someone who can give kisseswith a smile and an open heart. Amen for that.I fear losing the open heart it took me so long tofind. But I know that the way I lose it is to actfrom fear rather. He likes to watch.”Dana looked at me. “You’ll look for any excuse, won’t you?”“There is a big difference between getting undressed in front of a woman who has no interest in sex and doing it in front of a teenaged boy who may be hoping to see something more than me naked.”Chloe continued to smirk. Dana shook her head. “You said it yourself, Seth, we don’t have time for this. Get undressed.”“Besides,” Chloe added, “I’m pretty sure he was watching us last night.”I frowned, knowing that she was probably right. “You’re not helping.”I finally got a grip on my anxiety and stripped down. Dana held out the pants for the new suit. They were leather in a reddish-brown color, something like rust. I took them and checked inside the flaps. Sure enough, Shondra had sewn in the nifty-if-irritating pockets so I could show off my stuff.I pulled on the pants and started to zip up when Dana stopped me. “You have to put them on properly.”I gave her a look that expressed how I felt about that.She shook.
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